Just Life

I apologize for the lack of Nightfall, Episode Five today. For the last two days, my mom and I have been on the road, dropping my little sister and all of her stuff off at her university, and I forgot to schedule a post for this morning. Tune in tomorrow for the next installment.

For now, it’s bed time.

On Twitter, I asked my followers for a short story idea on Sunday, which I had planned to write specifically for Spoken Sunday. However, seeing as it’s Tuesday morning when I’m writing this, it obviously isn’t yet finished. The ending just won’t come. This is due in part to the movie I watched at church on Friday evening.

Crossing is a feature film about one family’s struggle to survive in, and subsequently escape from, North Korea. It’s violent, it’s heart-wrenching, it made most of us in the room flinch and cover our eyes, and it is also true to life. The film was extremely powerful, but at the same time, extremely disturbing. (I had several friends, whom I spoke to afterwards, ask me if the movie was good. In all honesty, there is no way, by any definition of the word, that I could call it good. Powerful, yes. Well made, yes. Good, no.)

This film really got to me to the point that just thinking about what I had seen made me nauseous. It upset me on a very deep level, and when finally I managed to pull myself out of the deep sadness it had plunged me into, I found myself, instead, very angry. I was angry because this was happening to these people; I was angry that people could actually do these horrendous, vicious, violent things to other human beings, to children; I was angry because I realized just how powerless I am.

I’m going to be honest: I’m still a little angry. It’s getting in the way of my writing, but maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe I need to be truly, honestly angry for a while. Maybe it’ll push me to do something, to try to help some of these people, in whatever ways I possibly can.

Which leads me, then, to the story suggestion. I love the idea, and I love the characters that came out of it, but it’s a humorous piece, and when I sat down to write it, I just found that I wasn’t ready yet for humor. But I know that someday soon, it’ll come.

For now, pray for the people in North Korea, and for the refugees that cross the border in to China and Mongolia and those who make it to South Korea and to safety. Pray especially for those who don’t make it across, for those who end up in labor camps or those who just become another nameless body buried somewhere. Pray for the North Koreans who risk their lives to bring Bibles and the hope of salvation to their wounded people. Pray that those who are in positions to help, do so.

I just found out the other day that I’m going to be taking an impromptu year off of school for reasons that I really don’t feel like going into in a public forum. So, after spending a little over a day moping about it, watching movies, and sleeping on my best friend’s couch, I’ve started looking at the vast array of options that have opened up to me in this suddenly free year.

As I’m a firm believer in the notion that everything happens for a reason and nothing is accidental, I think it’s pretty obvious that there’s something other than school that I need to be doing in the coming year. It’s just a matter of figuring out what that something is. Here are the options that I’m currently contemplating:

1. Stay here in Wisconsin and find (preferably full time) work, and work on my novel in my free time
2. Move further north for a year (UP Michigan? Northern Minnesota? Who knows) and work and write
3. Look into writing fellowships (I have no idea if I’d even qualify for any of them, but I’m going to start looking into them)
4. Move back in with my parents and work
5. Move to Missouri to be near my older siblings, work, and write
6. Try to take summer classes/classes in the fall at CVT or another community college here
7. Move farther west, work, and write

So far, that’s my list of options. More may be added later, some may be crossed off as I pray through this list of possibilities. I’ll do my best to keep you updated when I can snag some time online, and in the mean time, I would appreciate any and all prayers and good thoughts that any of you feel like sending my way.

Sometimes I can’t believe how fast life changes, and how many windows open when a door has been closed. I have faith that something good will come from this, and I’m looking forward to finding out what that will be. :)